Thursday, May 14, 2015

real talk

I am Hunter Parke Larsen

I am 18

I love playing video games

I eat whatever I want, whenever I want it

I love to dance crazily in my house when I'm alone

I sing along to every song in my iTunes library

I need chap stick all the time, but forget where I leave it

I go to bed at 11:00. but usually don't fall asleep until 12:00

I am loyal, but only to those I really care about

I used to write pretty good stuff, until the name reveal

I could eat Salsa Verde Doritos all day

My best friend on this entire planet is Teriki Soliai

I have multiple families

I want to go to Hawaii sooooo badly

I model with my cat sometimes

I can snort extremely loudly

I miss my cat Stormy

I main Jinx on League of Legends, but I've started to cheat on her with Sivir

I can't wait to go up to USU

I really enjoy lambs

Smashburger is FREAKIN' good

I also love Ganesh

I don't hate everyone, but it seems that way

I wish I was taller

I will become a zoo keeper one day and work with big cats

I will own a Ragdoll, Savannah, Gerberian Shepsky, and Maine Coon some day

I spend waaaay to much money on Brave Frontier

I get offended easily

I hold grudges for a long time

I can be enjoyable to be around

I procrastinate on purpose

I am done with High School.

Friday, April 24, 2015

according to wiki

The heart is a muscular organ in humans and other animals, which pumps blood through the blood vessels of the circulatory system.[1] Blood provides the body with oxygen and nutrients, and also assists in the removal ofmetabolic wastes.[2] The heart is located in the middle compartment of the mediastinum in the chest.[3]
In humans, other mammals and birds the heart is divided into four chambers: upper left and right atria; and lower left and right ventricles.[4][5] Commonly the right atrium and ventricle are referred together as the right heart and their left counterparts as the left heart.[6] Fish in contrast have two chambers, an atrium and a ventricle, while reptiles have three chambers.[5] In a healthy heart blood flows one way through the heart due toheart valves, which prevent backflow.[3] The heart is enclosed in a protective sac, the pericardium, which also contains a small amount of fluid. The wall of the heart is made up of three layers: epicardiummyocardium; and endocardium.[7]
The heart pumps blood through both circulatory systems. Blood low in oxygen from the systemic circulation enters the right atrium from the superior and inferior vena cavae and passes to the right ventricle. From here it is pumped into the pulmonary circulation, through the lungs where it receives oxygen and gives off carbon dioxide. Oxygenated blood then returns to the left atrium, passes through the left ventricle and is pumped out through the aorta to the systemic circulation−where the oxygen is used and metabolized to carbon dioxide.[2] In addition the blood carries nutrients from the liver and gastrointestinal tract to various organs of the body, while transporting waste to the liver and kidneys.[citation needed] Normally with each heartbeat, the right ventricle pumps the same amount of blood into the lungs as the left ventricle pumps out into the body. Veins transport blood to the heart, while arteries transport blood away from the heart. Veins normally have lower pressures than arteries.[2][3] The heart contracts at a rate of around 72 beats per minute, at rest.[2] Exercise temporarily increases this rate, but lowers resting heart rate in the long term, and is good for heart health.[8]
Cardiovascular diseases (CVD) were the most common cause of death globally in 2008, accounting for 30% of cases.[9][10] Of these deaths more than three quarters were due to coronary artery disease and stroke.[9] Risk factors include: smoking, being overweight, not enough exercise, high cholesterolhigh blood pressure, and poorly controlled diabetes among others.[11] Diagnosis of CVD is often done by listening to the heart-sounds with a stethoscopeECG or by ultrasound.[3] Diseases of the heart are primarily treated by cardiologists, although many specialties of medicine may be involved.[10]

I want jail


Wednesday, April 15, 2015

this amused me


a poem

Remember

BY CHRISTINA ROSSETTI
Remember me when I am gone away,
         Gone far away into the silent land;
         When you can no more hold me by the hand,
Nor I half turn to go yet turning stay.
Remember me when no more day by day
         You tell me of our future that you plann'd:
         Only remember me; you understand
It will be late to counsel then or pray.
Yet if you should forget me for a while
         And afterwards remember, do not grieve:
         For if the darkness and corruption leave
         A vestige of the thoughts that once I had,
Better by far you should forget and smile
         Than that you should remember and be sad.

Thursday, April 9, 2015

Blast from the past

This post was from my sister (Louis the Bear) when she was in the class in 2011.


Yes, I'm super jealous of her writing style.

I want to say it right.
When I was a kid, I went to the theatre a lot. Mom found a deal…where a theatre would show get this: 2-3 year old movies. Washed out washed up movies. You got a soda and some popcorn but it, the popcorn, always tasted like the cardboard box around it.
Once they were going to show Black Beauty. It was going to be better than the previous week’s “Little Vampire”. When we drove to that theatre it felt like driving to see Black Beauty.
When he wasn’t there, I stood on my chair. When the lady with the undulating voice told me to sit down I went to look at the tiles in the bathroom. They were the same green you always see.
What I mean to say is that….
Sometimes I would leave Smarties out for either Jesus or you. You were both close.
But I couldn’t see you. Who is the man that makes me feel things exactly? Where are his hands and is their space for me? I thought that you could hold on to me holding myself together. If I could find you.
I mean…..I mean….I mean that I saw you sleeping at the Grand Canyon. But only your spindles. And the good acts of men have shown me your backbone and when I came out those theatres walking as what the hour and a half was about I felt your footsteps.
But you never stay long enough, and only in my stomach. When life feels like living you’re there. And it is then that I look down and inside myself and I see you there. I see the top of your head and a glance of your elbow as you stir soup there. I’ve put you through long winters.
I mean…. I mean that he’s in the moments that feel like moments. I mean that he’s in staring out the window too long. In the chairs if you’ll just stand on them, in the runt of the liter stuck in the bag that doesn’t get tossed in the lake. In the words said right and the souls that sing for the other and the pretty violin that sounds like.
I’ve seen his ears, and heard his heart. Seen the back of his neck walking away. To know that face, reach out, hold onto it…. close.
I mean to say—don’t tell me. Don’t tell me how.

Shoes


Sunday, March 29, 2015

Hello.

I wish I tried a little harder.

I wish you could understand everything I littered on the web pages.

I wish we could all be best friends.

I wish I was the next Anis Mojgani.

I wish things fixed themselves so I could spend more time finding clovers, 'cause my luck always seems to run out before I can catch it.

Hunter Larsen.

Thursday, March 19, 2015

Mother Nature

Sometimes you wonder why the world hates you. Mother Nature turns her nurture to torture. I stand on the dirt as disaster strikes, and every tree I attempt to cower under is upturned by harsh winds. 97.5% of her tears are sad salt water. I stand alone and look up at the stars, so far out of reach. They are happy, but impossible to join. The rain begins to pour, but my head is stuck stiff from staring upwards. The drops pile in my throat and I'm slowly drowning from all that I take in. The mud below grabs at my ankles and I can't escape my fate without any branches to grab.

This isn't a post about depression.

This post is human.

I don't always feel like this, but sometimes she does hate you, and there's nothing you can do to stop the pounding in the earth.

The pounding in your head.

The pounding in your heart.

I ache for you. I ache for my friends, my family, my self. I ache for those cowering under upturned trees, staring at the stars, sinking in the mud. There's light somewhere behind those thick clouds in the sky. You have to wait out the storm to survive. She is cleanest after calamity. I want to speak with her and present a check for 7 billion hugs, because that's the least of what we owe. Maybe, just maybe you'll forgive us so that when we have these bad days, there will be branches to grab.

Grass to stand on.

Stars to reach.

If you can't forgive us, I understand, and I still love you.

As insignificant as I am, there's at least ONE person who loves and respects you.

So please save your fury for another day so I can stand on the trees to reach the stars.

Friday, March 13, 2015

Those silver eyes.



Those silver eyes.
Ice chips against the iris.
Giving me a young mid life crisis.
Stunning like the horrors of ISIS.

Those silver eyes.
Pale as the new moon.
Serious like a typhoon.
Polished set of new spoons.

Those silver eyes.
Wise as an owl.
Please pass the towel-
so I can clear the salt out of my eyes, so foul.

Those silver eyes.
Incalculable beyond measure.
The epitome of grandeur, I reassure-
that every time you blink there's closure.

Those silver eyes.
I can't help but stare.
Even if you glare, I'll bare the scare-
of having my retinas tied in your snare.

Those silver eyes.
Wash over me like the tide-
so take pride in knowing that every time I see them I glide-
on Cloud 9, taking angels for a ride.

Those silver eyes.
Deep in thought.
Look out at the world like the Lady of Shalott.
I know what you've got-
so please don't get caught up in the mundane things of life for naught.

Those silver eyes.
Black ink in lustrous pools.
Gilded pearl thread on dark ash spools.
Speak for themselves like a king to fools.

Those silver eyes.
Put any doubt to rest.
It's best if you grab your scarf and I, my vest-
so we can test if we're two birds of the same nest.

Those silver eyes.

Friday, March 6, 2015

Message to Stormy.



You've been with me since before memories flooded into my brain. I have not known a life without you, and I'm not ready to live that life. I hate to see you leave us, but it's the best thing we can do for you. Stormy. I love you so much. Tears are streaming down my face as I write this. The realization is so overpowering. I can hardly move my hands. I hate to see you in pain. I love to see you stroll over to me. I love your unconditional love. I love you so so so much. I can't bear to to see you leave me. It's hurting me, in every aspect that it can. Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. I can't put my feelings for you in coherent sentences. You were always there for me. You loved banana bread. You loved to spend every second looking for us. It was really a game. You would meow, and we would find you. I loved to find you. Always such a sweet girl. I can't imagine not finding you. Right where you've always been. By my side.

Tuesday, February 24, 2015

Literal emotions.

If tears crystallized on our face, no one would ever dare to cry.

If happiness made us crack a grin, no one would consider smiling.

If anger stayed etched on our forehead, we wouldn't bother being mad.

If joy left us in stitches, we wouldn't care to laugh.

If fear glued our eyes shut, children wouldn't quake.

If excitement blew our mind, men would never venture.

If hate boiled our blood, women wouldn't berate.

If love struck our hearts, we'd always be apart.

Never start.


Friday, February 20, 2015

Brick, Stone, Stick, Bone.

Brick by brick.
Stone by stone.
Dig your heels-
into my throne.

Stone by stone.
Stick by stick.
Light your eyes-
on candle wick.

Stick by stick.
Bone by bone.
Please realize-
I'm error prone.

Tuesday, February 17, 2015

Let's get creative (WARNING)

This video is mildly graphic, but it'll sure get those creative juices flowing!

Sunday, February 15, 2015

ABC's of my mind

Here is where I'll try to make sense of my brain. I'm going to write the first thing that comes to my mind, and let my crazy thoughts comment on them.

A: Avocado. I don't even like them.
B: Barney. Interesting...I maybe watched this show 5 times in my entire life?
C: Carnivore. I prefer smaller chunks of meat.
D: Domino. A game I've never enjoyed, and my past employer.
E: Existentialism. We exist to be remembered or forgotten.
F: Farm. A pleasant home for many phylum.
G: Grim. An expression I'm all to familiar with.
H: Hi.
I: Igloo. One day I'll make one...who am I kidding? I don't even have the patience to build a snowman.
J: Jello. Rainbow to be exact.
K: Kangaroo. I'm surprised I haven't named more animals.
L: Land. Where I stand.
M: Mom. Oh, how sentimental.
N: Narcissism. Do I really love myself as much as I should?
O: Opponent. I don't like having enemies, but they are necessary.
P: Polo. This word is important, but I don't know why.
Q: Quail. What were you expecting?
R: Ramen. No comment.
S: Stormy. Maybe I'll post about this sometime. For now, I'll have to quickly move on.
T: Tear. It's all up to interpretation.
U: Ukulele. I'm not very musically talented, but if I was...
V: Velcro. Those white shoes I had when I was five years old. Why does this memory linger?
W: Water. Because showers are a place of whimsy and wonder.
X: X-ray Fish. Hey, look at that, another animal. Maybe one day I'll actually look this up. It sounds pretty cool.
Y: Yellow.
Z: Zenith. I just learned this word, and I'm a show-off.

Wednesday, February 11, 2015

Same Love.

I recently had the experience to attend my uncles wedding ceremony. It was one of the most emotional events of my entire life. They had been together for 26 years, and they were finally able to tie the knot. This song by Mackelmore is pretty self explanatory once you read the lyrics, so I implore you to do so.

When I was in the third grade I thought that I was gay,
'Cause I could draw, my uncle was, and I kept my room straight.
I told my mom, tears rushing down my face
She's like "Ben you've loved girls since before pre-k, trippin'."
Yeah, I guess she had a point, didn't she?
Bunch of stereotypes all in my head.
I remember doing the math like, "Yeah, I'm good at little league."
A preconceived idea of what it all meant
For those that liked the same sex
Had the characteristics
The right wing conservatives think it's a decision
And you can be cured with some treatment and religion
Man-made rewiring of a predisposition
Playing God, aw nah here we go
America the brave still fears what we don't know
And "God loves all his children" is somehow forgotten
But we paraphrase a book written thirty-five-hundred years ago
I don't know

And I can't change
Even if I tried
Even if I wanted to
And I can't change
Even if I tried
Even if I wanted to
My love
My love
My love
She keeps me warm
She keeps me warm
She keeps me warm
She keeps me warm

If I was gay, I would think hip-hop hates me
Have you read the YouTube comments lately?
"Man, that's gay" gets dropped on the daily
We become so numb to what we're saying
A culture founded from oppression
Yet we don't have acceptance for 'em

Call each other faggots behind the keys of a message board
A word rooted in hate, yet our genre still ignores it
Gay is synonymous with the lesser
It's the same hate that's caused wars from religion
Gender to skin color, the complexion of your pigment
The same fight that led people to walk outs and sit ins
It's human rights for everybody, there is no difference!
Live on and be yourself
When I was at church they taught me something else
If you preach hate at the service those words aren't anointed
That holy water that you soak in has been poisoned

When everyone else is more comfortable remaining voiceless
Rather than fighting for humans that have had their rights stolen
I might not be the same, but that's not important
No freedom 'til we're equal, damn right I support it

(I don't know)

And I can't change
Even if I tried
Even if I wanted to
My love
My love
My love
She keeps me warm
She keeps me warm
She keeps me warm
She keeps me warm

We press play, don't press pause
Progress, march on
With the veil over our eyes
We turn our back on the cause
'Til the day that my uncles can be united by law
When kids are walking 'round the hallway plagued by pain in their heart
A world so hateful some would rather die than be who they are
And a certificate on paper isn't gonna solve it all
But it's a damn good place to start
No law is gonna change us
We have to change us
Whatever God you believe in
We come from the same one

Strip away the fear
Underneath it's all the same love
About time that we raised up... sex

And I can't change
Even if I tried
Even if I wanted to
And I can't change
Even if I tried
Even if I wanted to
My love
My love
My love
She keeps me warm
She keeps me warm
She keeps me warm
She keeps me warm

Love is patient
Love is kind
Love is patient
Love is kind
(not crying on Sundays)
Love is patient
(not crying on Sundays)
Love is kind
(I'm not crying on Sundays)
Love is patient
(not crying on Sundays)
Love is kind
(I'm not crying on Sundays)
Love is patient
(not crying on Sundays)
Love is kind
(I'm not crying on Sundays)
Love is patient
Love is kind

Friday, February 6, 2015

Jigsaw

Funny how I still use strategies from my childhood.

Like closing my eyes, and pretending everything around me has disappeared; and they have, visually at least, and most of the time, that's enough.

I mope when I want something. I scream and cry and have a tantrum the world has never seen, all in my head. I project those feelings through my eyes.

I've been told my eyes can be quite deadly.

I imagine and let curiosity get the better of me. I count by sticking my fingers out. I say the ABC's to remember the placement of letters. I enjoy snack time.

Hell, I've been using the same blanket since I was 6, and I don't plan on abandoning 'ole "Blue" anytime soon.

However.

As I've grown older, new strategies are required.

I can no longer share a goldfish to make a new best friend. I have to make an impression.

I can no longer be blissfully oblivious to everything happening in the world. I have to know evil to avoid it.

I can no longer speak my mind and expect no consequences. I have to bite my tongue.

But it's alright.

I understand things change.

For better.

For worse.

Till death do I part.

Till death, I live.

And during this wonderfully, horribly, real existence, I become another piece of the puzzle humanity has crafted.

I like to imagine I'm a corner piece, not some vague blur of color in the middle. But that would be alright, because that piece still completes the puzzle. It's just a little more complicated.

Wednesday, February 4, 2015

Replacement

This is a story about humanity.

We hold our wires, behind our back, plugged into souls.
We are infinitely more brilliant than those of the past.
The key to everything is locked behind a door that has no walls.

Yet.

We are told to limit ourselves.
We are told to be unique.

But not too unique.

Just the right amount of unique.

Our fingers are spiders.
Spinning a web everywhere we go.
Getting tangled in the halls.
Leaving our business in every crevice.
Every crack.

How can we be told to be unique?
When everyone is just trying to survive this sticky mess we've been wrapped in.

Our wires rust.
Replacement is necessary.

But life goes on.
Our soul is absorbed to that room with no walls.
Twirling in endless space.
Perhaps making the acquaintance of some other poor soul.

So be unique.
Be a machine.
You'll make a nice replacement.

Hmm. That wasn't really the best story I've ever told.








Sunday, February 1, 2015

Eyeball






We could learn a lot from crayons; some are sharp, some are pretty, some are dull, while others bright, some have weird names, but they all have learned to live together in the same box. ~Robert Fulghum

Friday, January 30, 2015

Toy trains

Let’s talk like we’re old.
Like we always did in school.
Where we were expected to be clay in the hands of our teachers.
Learning how to spell “because” because it would help us later in life.
Now our bodies grow.
And life is just a train track.
And there are two trains with the same destination.
On the same track.
And the collision is inevitable.
Tragic.
All we want to do is put on the brakes.
There is a lot of screeching, from the passengers and metal.
And every thought is a passenger.
And the metal is the pain.
The joy.
And when they collide.
The fire is beautiful.
Deadly.
And we realize ourselves.
The clay is soft from all the molding.
We don’t just talk about being old.
We are old.

Thursday, January 22, 2015

Please help the ungodly.

This domain. Where I'll write my brains out.

My mind is an incoherent mess. If you have the patience to read this, I really hope you can help me out. There's something wrong with me. No matter how hard I try, my thoughts will not transfer to semantics.

 I am brilliant.

 It's really tragic if you think about it. I think and bleed and move like everyone else, but I'm only one of two by four by eight by a million.

I am a lunatic. Holding onto objects that never have meaning. But give them meaning. Hold onto something for too long and you'll only hurt yourself. The scars will run deep into your hands, left only as a painful memory.

 I have the cure for every ailment ever drowned across the whole world. I have the answer to anything you ask me, tucked away deep inside. I know past, present, and future.

But I am no God.

When I write on a page, my eyes go cross, my vision blurs, and I'm possessed with an obsession to reveal the true identity of my mind. The right words never come.

I want nothing more than acceptance. Not from you, your mom, your grandpa. Hell, even your pet. I want to bridge the gap I have created spanning from my hand to my brain. They've been separated for far too long. It's time they loved each other again.

As we continue to work on this blog. Please. Help me make sense of myself. I know everything I say has meaning, but I don't understand it. Help me discover why I have to force myself to cry to write. 

Help me understand why I have to fake my feelings to feel.